5 Qualities Women Look For In A Guy

I once heard a guy say; “Any guy can get any girl – no matter how beautiful or out of his league she may seem”. At the time he was totally besotted with a friend of mine and, despite people warning him that she was out of his league, he pursued her with everything he had… and won her over (They’re now married).

This is the basic principle that I have built this site on: That any guy can get (and keep) any girl… he just needs to know how. AND I WILL TELL YOU HOW!

So here, dear friends, are the 5 qualities that seem to be irresistibly attractive to all women. Each of the following traits alone can make a man attractive, but all 5 together make him the kind of man that women are just dying to be with.

1) The ability to take charge of a situation

His ability to step up and take control of a situation (not be a controlling guy… two very different things!) – be it the planning of a date, handling of a crisis, hosting a party, managing his own life, getting a backbone, or being intentional about getting to know the woman he is interested in. This is so incredibly SEXY because it tells us (women) that we can trust you to get things done…. in other words, we can rely on you. RESPECT! .


2) The ability to pursue wholeheartedly

Every girl wants to be pursued… and not half-hearted attempts of “you said you wanted flowers, so I got you (the cheapest) flowers“. I’m talking about real EFFORT here; like planning a date that will blow her freakin’ mind, and getting her flowers for no reason other than because you wanted to get her flowers.  Every woman wants the kind of man who would climb mountains and cross oceans for her. We want someone who will say, “It’s okay, we will make this work” despite distance or other obstacles (Read: 10 Ways to Make Long-Distance Work). Women want someone who will go the extra mile and who will put in the effort because he knows she is worth it.

Most importantly, your ability to pursue her should never end. Even when you’re married.


3) The ability to do, and not just say

We are SO TIRED of the talkers. We don’t want the empty, sweet words. Women want men who will show them that they love them through actions, not just words.
Practically this means 1) say only what you truly mean, and not what you think she wants to hear, and 2) only make promises that you know you can keep.

Better yet, instead of promising to do something, just do it.


4) The ability to be selfless

If you can show her that you are considering her and are actively trying to make her life easier, she will take notice. You don’t want to be a rug that she can walk all over, but you also don’t want to be that guy on the couch playing video games all weekend while she makes all the effort to clean, cook, and plan your weekly date night. I have met men who say they adore their partners, but expect their partner to do all the work and make all the sacrifices in the relationship. But that’s abusing her generosity, it’s not real love. Love is not selfish or self-seeking. It fights for, values, protects, and will put the other person first in the relationship.

And it works both ways.

A man who is willing to lay down a part of his life (like putting down his video games for an hour to plan a romantic date) for a woman is worth holding onto, and women are fully aware of how rare of a quality this is. So be the exception, not the rule, and show her how much you care.


5) The ability to protect her heart

This is a big one. Ultimately, a woman wants someone she can respect and trust, and this means she feels emotionally and physically safe around him. The guy who can protect a woman’s heart is the guy who makes her feel safe and valued. He is someone who doesn’t play games, doesn’t leave her hanging or wondering, and doesn’t keep her guessing. He’s not looking around at other women, and lets her know how committed he is to her.


Of course, every man is unique, with his own set of talents, abilities, personality traits and quirks. However, these five qualities do not require special talents or abilities or specific personality traits. They are skills that can be learned and that can help build your character as a man. The more you grow your own character, the more confidence you will have in yourself and in your ability to sweep her off her feet.